Arguably one of the most difficult concepts in life for us to grasp is the art of waiting patiently, but sometimes what we learn and who we become in the process of waiting is even more important than what we’re waiting on. For those who know me, you probably already know that I am not good at waiting. In reality, I’m actually much worse at waiting than I thought I was. I thought I was relatively patient, understanding, able to step back and look at things from a global perspective. Which I am—for about a day. Then I’m done being patient and ready to have whatever it is I am waiting for to happen.
It seems being on a boat is all about waiting; waiting for an ordered part to arrive, waiting for a mechanic to answer a phone call, waiting on good weather, waiting on a wifi signal. Everything seems to take much longer than I expected, which in my world means it is taking much longer than it should. So I wallow in frustration in the world of “shoulds”. This should not be taking so long, that mechanic should be calling me back, the wifi extender should be sending out a signal.
When I mention this to the other cruisers, they just shrug, “That’s life on a boat”. Everything takes longer than it did on land, and at some point the other cruisers learn to accept this. They get used to it taking two hours to make a meal because the galley and stovetop are so tiny, it seems you just get one meal cleaned up and it is time to start prepping for the next. They get used to unpacking and repacking cabinets to get to the item you need, which always seems to be in the back. They get used to trying to repair one thing only to find that you don’t have the part and you find two additional items that need to be repaired “while you’re at it”. Agendas and time frames that I was used to on land just don’t apply when on a boat.
My frustration comes from mentally living in the future and the land of “shoulds”. I am longing so much for the future that I cannot just relax and accept my present reality. In my head the windlass works like a charm with its new battery. In my head the wifi extender is plugged in a providing a steady internet signal. In my head we are sailing up and down the Eastern Seaboard, exploring barrier islands and cute little towns.
I knew as part of the cruising life that one trades convenience for simplicity. I knew things like access to fresh water and ice and doing laundry and obtaining groceries would be inconvenient. I just didn’t realize how inconvenient inconvenience is. In many ways I took for granted the convenience of land life. Not just how easy it is to get a glass of ice water, and being able to flush toilet paper down the commode, but things like Amazon prime where anything I could think of to buy would show up at my doorstep in two days. Or Lowes, where if I get the wrong part I drive ten minutes back to the store and swap it out for the right part, which is also in stock. The plumber comes the day after I call him. I can drop the van off at Boulevard tire and I have new tires installed, rotated and aligned two hours later. But on the boat, I wait. I wait on the mercy of shipping companies. I wait on mechanics to return a phone call. I wait on the weather system just off the coast to clear so the wind and waves won’t overwhelm the boat. I wait on things that I have no control over, and struggle with my lack of control.
The fact of the matter is we are all waiting for something: an answer, a reply, a reaction, a second chance. Chances are, if you’re still waiting for it, it means you’re not yet ready for it. I know this in my head, but I think my lesson in waiting is learning this in my heart, in the very depth of my being. Trusting that while I have no control and cannot even hold on to the illusion of control, that God does have control with a plan and a purpose and in that a lesson on patience that I need to learn.
I am hoping to soon know, with everything inside of me, the words of Daniel Nahmod,
“I’m in the right place, at the right time, I am just where I’m supposed to be.”
Excellent observations. As I read it, I thought to myself, “How do I disentangle ‘waiting’ from ‘anticipation’?” Are they even different? Anticipation for me is a positive form of waiting, but it’s still waiting and it’s still good. In fact anticipation of something is sometimes better than the thing itself.
And anticipation, and the excitement that comes with it, is one of the things that makes life so enjoyable.
So as I often think about waiting or anticipation, I draw my (limited) patience from looking at the gift of the extra time that I’m given to accomplish something else while waiting for that thing or event.
Either that, or I find a way to pay extra to shorten my wait 😉
You are so right. Why is anticipation so wonderful and waiting such a strain? It seems that anticipation is tinged with excitement and waiting is tinged with impatience. It is all in how it is framed…
Great Blog Amy! I can’t “wait” for your next one!
Ahhh! So, forget about the lessons we are all geared up to learn and expect the unexpected new lesson we are unprepared for to say the least! I get it! Not that it helps, I just HEAR YA Dear Amy! Life, eh? Yeah. Yep. I hear ya. You are making sense. Easier for me to make sense when I can’t make sense of things 🙂 That is unless the intended “point” and outcome was the process itself. Realizing this is usually my breaking point. THANKFULLY human emotions exist so that I can break into tears, or into laughter, or even GRATITUDE for what is! (that’s most often gratitude in absence of evidence of that which I WANT TO BE saying “thank you” for!) Yep. I hear ya, but, from an easier vantage point perhaps, so please forgive for the ease of my words. Might only sound like “blah, blah, blah” today, but my hope is that you are smiling and breathing at ease, enjoying your evening. Does it help to know that “future” itself is a myth of sorts? Amy, there isn’t any course in our educational system that can give to you, to your family, and to your friends a more effective and useful tutorial. THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF YOUR WRITING. Building on your wisdom and personalizing it for me: If you’re still waiting for it – CONGRATULATIONS! Waiting isn’t for wimps! It’s coming! You’re ready! HOLD ON! Love, Rooth
In times of difficulty is when I learn my greatest lessons. This one includes gratitude and living in the present. Thank you for that reminder.
Amy, I needed to hear you tonight. Not just the message you wrote, but I needed to hear it from your head and your heart.
I too am tired of waiting.
Perhaps it is because I haven’t been ready for it yet. I’ve been afraid. Fear is an emotion of the future, but it never makes one immune to what’s ahead.
Spending the time with your family is part of your journey. The journey isn’t waiting for you on the open water. Look to Kim and the children and know- It’s already here. xoxo
Sheri
You ARE in the right place and just where you should be. We all are; if only we are mindful & present. Love your blog….& you are missed
Too funny but I think that is so true for a lot of us. Enjoy the time.
Your 5 minutes friend.
One of the hardest lessons for me to learn was that I was not in control nor could I ever be in control. Living in the moment, accepting what is going on in this moment is where I find my serenity. I certainly do not do this all of the time. In fact, I was feeling crazy yesterday because I couldn’t stay in the present. Loved reading your thoughts. Jane
Just want to wish you two ladies a Blessed & Beautiful Mother’s Day!
Your 5-Minute Friend
Amy, I sure miss you, Kim and the kids. Love the blog and am so thankful that you decided to do this. Look to Brook to learn how to live in the moment, dogs do it the best. They don’t sweat the details and enjoy right now. I know it must be hard coming from your job to this but once you unwind you’ll love every minute. My love to all of you!
I get it.. well written…Love and miss you my friend….Michele.